Moonlight
by taeyeonjjang
Summary: They were young, naive and oblivious of the world around. She love hard and believed in forever. So, when their fairytale story was shatter to pieces, nothing was left for her. And she do what she ought to do...die. Rated M for swearing.
1. Prologue

_**And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened. - Douglas Coupland**_

**_Prologue - Once Upon A Time_**

_They were young, naive and oblivious of the world around. _

_She love hard and believed in forever. _

_So, when their fairytale story was shatter to pieces, nothing was left for her. _

_And she do what she ought to do...die._

"Do you love me?"

"Never in my right mind would I love someone like you."

_...and she run to places no one could find her, so no one could reach her. _

_That day the sky mourn and the thunder roar._

**_It is the birth of the fallen angel, the devil, and the death of their once pure angel._**

_And, the wheel of fate begin to turn once more._


	2. The Heiress

**_I. The Heiress_**

Her life was what every girls dream off. She has a handsome husband, a wealthy parent, a good upbringing and background. She has the looks and intelligence that everyone envied off. She has everything that money could buy, and if that's not impressive enough, she is the heiress to a billion dollar company that her father and grandfather build. Yet, she was never truly happy. No one ever managed to make her happy. She was stiff, strict, stick to the rule type of person. Despite that, even she had her time of life, where she feels truly _happy_, where money and her background don't matter.

For her, it seems like forever since she started searching for her _seour_, her little sister, her everything. The person that she come to care for the most, aside from her parent, the person she loved and still love, the person that teaches her how to love and be loved. She misses that person. She missed her night and days. She missed her every time she turn a corner and was flooded by a flashback of her. She missed her so much that it's driving her into a brink of insanity.

It's been five years; even she was amaze how she managed years without that person by her side. She has become so cold and strong that no one could ever step into her territory anymore. She builds a wall so high that no one could ever get past it. Who is she to blame? She was the one who drive her sister away from herself. A scoff escaped her lips and she feel like mocking herself for her foolishness.

She didn't stop searching though, when her sister decided to disappear five years ago, she has been searching like some maniac. But it's like the younger girl was just a part of her dream, a fragment of her imagination. There was no trace to no avail, even though it's been five excruciating year. It's like the younger girl never existed in the first place. People around her, her close friend, her older sister, her mother, have told her to stop. That it's no used. No matter how long or how hard you search, you won't be able to find her, because she died.

Of course, the heiress refused to believed so. That's why she used all any available resources to find her sister. Her one and only... No one will stop her, not even if it is her grandfather or her parent. Even her husband has no say in the matter. Because they need to understand, for her truly live, she need the younger girl, because she is everything that she need in life. She is the reason why the heiress keep on waking up everyday and continue on with her life. Her only sources of strength and hope, she will be lost on what to do without the younger girl.

It was the first day of spring, she look out from her office window, where she stands hundreds of meter above the ground. The buzzing city street and people passing by, she wondered if any one of them is the younger girl. A knocked stop her train of thoughts, "Come in." Without acknowledging the new person presence, she resumed her trained of thought until a certain news caught her attention.

"Repeat." She demanded.

"I'm sorry President?"

"I said repeat."

"Oh, as I've mention the sales of-"

"No the one before that."

"You mean about the charity ball?"

The heiress nod as a short respond, signaling the man he's correct and to continue on.

"Mr. Smith, will hold a charity ball as a gratitude for the very successful year the foundation have last year and he have invited you, your husband, and some other of your business partner, like Mr. Simon of Apex and Mr. Maxwell of Essence. Would you like to see the full guest list madam?"

The heiress ponders for a moment and answer in a short and curt "Yes."

"Very well, I will make sure to have it ready before you leave the office today."

As soon as the man live, she has a million things in her head going on. She hate charity ball, but Mr. Smith is a very good man. It's a good opportunity too, to meet the head of Apex and Essence to discuss a new project she is going to propose. She smile to knowingly, at least there is something to look forward too.

Day passes by very fast and it was already the night of the charity ball. The heiress, accompanied by her husband, finally arrived at the event. Greeted by hundreds of paparazzi, she put on her fake smile. No matter how much time she has done this, she still could never get used to the feeling. She hates getting photographed and faking a smile as if life was as good as it could have been. She was not okay and her life was a messy hell.

She was pleasantly surprised to find her older sister in the event. She remembers reading the guest list carefully and the familiar older girl name was not there. She wouldn't miss it if it is there. As if knowing her thoughts, the other girl just smile and said, "Personal request, my client, Mr. Rowel was unable to attend due to his illness, so as his personal lawyer, he asked me a favor to come in his stead."

I nodded. After graduating her master degree, the older girl was one of the most successful young lawyers. She was highly acclaimed and finally land her big job as the personal lawyer of the Rowel family. The heiress was very proud of the older girl achievement and always boasts it whenever chance was given to her.

After a good chat with Mr. Smith along with Mr. Simon and Maxwell, she was finally elated that her big project, that would take her family empire to the next stage, is starting to come true. The heiress was prepared to leave when Mr. Smith suddenly put her into the center of attention, to thank her for all she's done for the foundation.

"Of course, this foundation would never been realized if it is not for our benefactor. Please allow me to introduce to everyone for the first time, the heir to the one and only of the Xerxec Company, Ms. Hanazawa."

Everyone in the room clapped and cheered loudly, and as the lime light shift to the new figure descending from the stair, my eyes grew big upon the realization who was it. I could not fathom even in my dream that this could happen. My knee felt week as I lean my weight to my husband for support. I look to my side and my older sister also seems to react the same way as me.

"Thank you Mr. Smith. This foundation meant so much to me. I apologize that I never showed myself before because I never had the chance too. Finally, it feels great to finally meet everyone who has been so supportive towards this foundation. I sincerely, thank you all the people in this room who have contributed to make this world a better place. I hope you enjoy the rest of the night."

Beautiful was an understatement. She was ethereal, like an angel fall down from the sky. She walks with so much grace. Her voice sound like a soothing lullabies to everyone ears. It's like an angel just grace her presence to the mortal. But as much as her smile would deceive everyone, her eyes cannot deceive the heiress. Those dull and emotionless eyes, the familiar brown eyes she has yearned for.

"Sa-chan…" Kashiwagi Suguru look worriedly at his wife, who's leaning most of her weight on him and looking very pale. She was muttering things that are incoherent.

"Let's get her out of here." Suguru said to the person Sachiko deemed as her older sister. He received a quick nodded and carried Sachiko to the car. As he let Sachiko rest on his laps, he recalled at what just happened at the charity ball. Who is she? Hanazawa? Xerxec? The largest company, whose powers are even higher than the government? The monstrous multi billion dollar company. Suguru felt shivered down his spine. He felt cold sweat trickling down. There's no way a person who is supposed to be dead are alive and the heir to the Hanazawa right? And there's no way a person could have a doppelganger right? There's no way…. God, bless whatever journey we have from here on is all he could ask for.

**Writer's note: That's the first chapter! I will try to update at least once a week. Thank you for reading and comment are really welcome and appreciated. **


	3. Brown and Grey

**_II. Brown and Grey_**

They've met four years ago at the fancy ball held by one of his father work partner. Despite his entire attempt to run away, all was futile against his parent. So he compiles and be a good son as he should for that day. He hate ball, it just meant to show who is the riches. He hates how he need to fake a smile as if everything is okay. He hate that he needs to entertain every single girl that wants him and he hate every single guy that try to be friend him. Who wouldn't? He is Kaname Suou, the only heir to the Suou Empire. Yet, he resent his fame and wealth.

That day, as always he attract everyone attention with his look and reputation, but he didn't acknowledge any of the attention he gets. _Leaches, _was all he think as he talks to every single one that he met that day. He just wishes the party would end soon and he could finally be free. After waiting for the climax of the party that night, it finally came. He never would have expected how much it would change his life.

The Hanazawa finally introduce their heir to the guest attending that day for the very first time. When he saw her descending with so much grace from the stair, he was mesmerized. Everyone was, she was beautiful beyond words. When their eyes met, he felt shiver down his spine. His grey orbs stared hauntingly at her brown orbs and for a moment they were in their own world. He felt cold sweat in his palm when the angel started to speak. He is damn.

Kaname Suou never dance or he ever asked a girl to dance with him in public. For the first time that day, Kaname unknowingly approach the girl, staring at her intently and politely ask her "_May I have this dance milady?". _The clear and soft reply of _"Yes, my pleasure."_ was all it take to set the room into a state of frenzy. But he couldn't care less and so was the girl he hold close.

They dance and dance and dance, sparking the envy and jealousy of the other entire suitor. A series of _ooohhh _and _aaaahhh _couldn't stop as they watch the couple waltz the dance floor with such grace. No words were exchange, speaking an unspeakable word through their eyes, and it was more than enough.

Kaname still remember that day so vividly even after four years. The girl changes his life. For the better or worse? He doesn't know. All he knows is that he started to feel alive for once after such a long time. Those brown orbs that he comes to love and cherish. He love waking up next to her and seeing her peaceful face instead of the façade she always put on. He loves it when he doesn't need to be anyone but himself when he's with her. And he loves it because she relied on him despite of his flaw. He comes to love every single moment he have with the latter even the unpleasant one.

"Kaname?"

"Hmmm…?"

"Stop daydreaming." She scolds softly, while frowning.

"I'm not, I'm thinking."

"Thinking of?"

"You."

Once again grey orbs meet brown orbs. He stares intently to those eyes, speaking an unspoken word and she also stare back with the same tenacity, before breaking into a small and soft "Oh."

He smiles at her and shift his sitting position to lying down on her lap. She hummed some random song that lulled him to sleep. Even in his dream, he dreamt of her and her brown orbs that fill with so many voids. Those brown orbs that are hauntingly beautiful every single time he looks at it. The brown orbs that always remind him that nothing will ever be okay in this world.

**Writer's note: Well, there you go! It is fairly short, but needed in the story content. Chapter 3 should be up by tonight or tomorrow. Please leave a review everyone! Thanks. **


	4. Yoshino

**_III. Yoshino_**

She's finally back in her home country after five years. She hates it. The moment she step in the airport soil, she regret on making the decision to come back. Being back brings back all the unpleasant memories of her past, which make her, frown and ball her fist. Nevertheless, she just wishes she would be able to stay low and avoid any unwanted attention and problem.

Of course, knowing that the charity ball would be tomorrow, she can't help but pray hard her worst nightmare won't come true that day. After building the foundation two years ago, Ruka never shown herself, not even to the undertaker of the foundation she entrusted, Mr. Smith. She mostly sent a voicemail or and video with blurred face. It was not before six months ago when her grandfather asked her about the foundation and he said that it was the proper time to introduce herself to everyone. It's a good opportunity he said. So she did what he wants and here she is.

Opting out to drive instead of being driven around, she took a drive around the familiar neighborhood with her sleek, black, Lamborghini. After what seems like hours, she finally stood in front of the familiar path she used to walk on every single day in the morning five years ago. The scorching sun greeted her as soon as she steps out of her car. The pathway was empty, maybe because everyone is still in class. Purposefully she strides in the pathway as if she walks for a runaway show. She stops in front of the familiar Maria statue for a moment before resuming her walk.

As she stands in front of the glass house, she felt all the unwanted feeling surging in, hitting her like an impending wave. She was so fixated in her own thought that she fails to notice someone was standing by watching her.

"Are you a visitor?"

The familiar voice was like lightning to Ruka ears. Turning her heel she face the person who called out to her and for a second her eyes widen in shock. Lucky enough the latter didn't notice any of this as the thick, black sunglasses hide her eyes. She knows the person in front of her. Know would probably an understatement, she know the latter inside out but that was five years ago.

"Excuse me? Are you a foreigner?"

"I'm sorry, I was just lost in my own thought. I am."

For a brief moment the latter eyes was widen in shock before she responded back to her.

"This area are not open for visitor Miss."

"My apology, this school is really big that I started to get lost."

"Well I'll let this slide, perhaps I could help you? I'm a teacher here."

_"No it's okay, I know my way because I'm a student here five years ago. I'm your best friend!" _Was what Ruka was thinking. Naturally, she couldn't say any of that, because a death person shouldn't be alive and walking.

"That would be a great help Ms…."

"Shimazu Yoshino."

"Ms Shimazu, I'm Ruka. Would you kindly show me the way to the dean office?"

"Do you know the principal?"

_This girl didn't changed at all, so curious at other people life. _Inwardly Ruka smile to herself.

"Perhaps."

They walk side by side, not uttering any words. Once in awhile Ruka glance at the girl beside her and smile, thankful that she's fine and healthy. For a moment, she felt like she is still a student here and is walking with her best friend. For once, since she step out of the plane, she felt a familiar warmth and bittersweet feeling, instead of anger and sorrow she have felt before. The girl beside her, was after all, was once the source of her strength.

They were partner in crime, though she was not as mischievous as Yoshino. They were always in the same class and she was the first friend she comes to treasure so much. They've been through a lot and she really holds her dear, even until now. It was a pity she couldn't tell her who she is. For she was no longer the same person she was five years ago nor were she the same person the latter remember as her best friend.

"We're here. Just knock before you come in. It was nice meeting you Ruka-san."

"It was my pleasure ."

"There you go again with your Ms."

"I'm sorry, it's a habit."

"I see. Please take care and don't get lost again Ruka-san."

"I'll try. Thank you."

She watches the fading figures waiting for the latter to be completely out of sight before opening the door of the dean office. She didn't plan any visit so it was not a surprised to see the shocked face of the dean.

"Hanazawa-sama? How-"

"Things…happen." She smile wryly and the old lady in front of her.

It was maybe two years ago since she decided to start supporting her old school after finding out that her grandmother was also an alumnus of Lilian. Despite not wanting anything involving her past, in respect for her grandmother, she started to support the school by donating a lot of money and becoming the board of chairman.

"Nothing has change."

"Yes, after all this is our tradition."

She smile unknowingly to herself and her brief visit was cut short from the ring of her phone, an indication that it's time for her to leave. She was a busy woman after all.

"I need to leave now. I'll keep in touch with you as always principal. Don't hesitate to call me if something happen concerning the school."

"Of course Hanazawa-sama. Please be safe on your way back."

She walks down the familiar path, where tons of memories were made. Bittersweet, happy, anger, disappointment, rejoice, relived, a pool of mix emotion. A past she wanted to run away from, but it's hanging on to her like an excess baggage, as if tying her down, preventing her to move. She know, to be able to completely move on, she need to face her fear, for once and for all.

**Writer Notes: Well, as promised it's an update! Since college are starting again tomorrow, I'm not so sure I'll be able to update regularly. Anyway, thanks for reading and really appreciate it if you leave a review. See you next chapter!**


	5. Ball

_**IV. Ball**_

She looks through the crowded room and silently curses herself. She wished she didn't need to attend this kind of ball. She hates it. She hates it when she needs to plaster her fake smile as if everything in her life is great. It was far from great. Nothing was ever right. She hates it when people start to mingle around her, trying to get her attention, because she's the Hanazawa. She hates everything that was cause by her surname.

Taking a deep breath calms her nerve down and she once again focus her gaze to the crowd, silently recalling who is who and something caught her eyes. Those grace, those smile, she know very well that it belongs to. Without realizing she was looking at her throughout the ball before realizing that it's time for her to finally face crowd.

She eyed the familiar couple whose leaving as soon as she finished her speech. Even until today, she still manages to take her attention away without lifting a single finger and she felt so bitter with herself. Oh how she hate everything about her. As she grace the ball room, everyone started to approach her, old, young, new faces and old faces, boys and girls. She felt suffocated and tried her best to smile to every single one that greeted her.

A wave of relived washed over her as she felt the familiar hand around her waist and she unconsciously lean back, enjoying the warmth of the latter.

"You're late." She hissed.

"I'm sorry, something came up and I was stuck in traffic coming here." His voice soothes her, calming her nerve.

"My Suou-sama, you've really reminded me of your father." Mr Rowell interrupted.

Kaname smile back in response and bow in polite, choose not to say anything in respond. Ruka tugged his arm and bow politely to everyone, before disappearing to the balcony. As soon as she was assured that there is no one else beside them, she hug Kaname, seeking the comfort and felt all the tense muscle relaxing in his familiar embrace.

"Rough day?"

"I saw her, among the crowd."

Kaname didn't respond anything, he didn't know how and what to say. So, he just listens and give her the assurance that she need, protecting her.

"She recognize me instantly and her eyes, her look, her expression, haunted me. Her voice, cut through me. I hate her. I hate her for what she's done and this hate is the things that always come and shackles me down, always reminding me of the past. I want to end all of this, but when I see her, all the anger clouded me."

Kaname tighten his hold on her "Everything will be alright. Just take it step by step. I will always be here for you." He felt the girl nod and hum in response and taking it as a yes, he didn't say anything further. They just enjoy each other presence, far from the scrutinizing eyes of others. Once again, Kaname felt the overwhelming feeling to protect her from all things. He could not bear to witness another breakdown from the girl, not if he can prevent it.

"Kaname, we need to get back inside."

"I'm tired, let's just go home."

"That's rude. I am the benefactor, at least I need to do a couple dance."

"Haven't you mingle enough?"

"You know that will never satisfy them."

"I don't want to share you."

"Then dance with me."

Kaname smirk at the invitation and willingly obliged. The pair comes back inside, turning heads from the onlooker. They were picture perfect, boys envy him and girls envy her, as they stride across the ballroom and start to dance. So much grace and beauty that none dare to approach them; they just simply look, look at the couple we seems to be lost in their own world.

**Author Notes: Well, here you go, another short chapter. I'll try to update again during the weekend. Do leave a comment if the timeline are confusing you guys. Thanks for reading! **


	6. Hanazawa Ruka

_**V. Hanazawa Ruka**_

She could not really put a hand at what have change inside her. She felt like somewhere along the way, something snap and she has become someone different. Someone so different that sometimes she question her self, who is she? Lies is what she do now. She lies and lie that she started to lose the feeling of pain and only numbness is inside her. Sometime she felt sick down to her core, and sometime it scares her out of her wit of what kind of monster she is becoming.

_The monster that everyone is forcing her to be, cold, ruthless, merciless, emotionless. _

She faces her reflection on the mirror, watching and judging herself, for what she have become. The brown orbs that stares back in her and she never felt stranger then seeing her own reflection. It's like she could not even recognize who she is anymore. The world is sure a strange place. So many have change and so many secrets are better left untold. A knock on the door stops her train of thoughts.

"Milady, master are waiting at his study room. He would like to see you."

"Yes, I'll be right down. Thank you."

She look at her own reflection once more before making her way out of her room. She strides purposefully down the mansion hallway, towards her grandfather study room. She lightly knocks on the door before coming in.

"Hello grandfather." She greeted softly, looking at the man who is smiling fondly at her.

"Hello dear, why do every time I see you, you just get more and more beautiful."

"Well, I guess it is my charm." She smiles cheekily in respond.

His loud chortle filled the room as he walk and hug her.

"So, why do you call me grandfather?"

"Well, I was looking through something when I came across things that is quite…not to my liking, I must say."

He handed me over a file, which makes me frown as soon as I read what's inside.

"You know what you should do right my dear?"

"Of course grandfather, I will put your mind to ease as soon as possible."

She felt a soft kiss at her forehead.

"I know I could always rely on you darling."

"Yes grandfather, I will always by your side no matter what."

"I am very please to hear that."

As soon as she closes the door of her grandfather study room, she makes a quick phone call and spun her heel towards the driveway. Her black Maserati sped across the highway at top speed, wanting to reach her destination as soon as possible. The loudness of her black beauty alerts the company staff and security of her arrival in the lobby and was immediately greeted by them.

"H-H-Hanazawa-sama, I didn't know you will be coming to the office today." A man in his forties stutters, as he half face her and face his own feet.

"I didn't. Something came up. Mr. Ray will be coming, bring him to my office as soon as he reach." She strode the long office lobby with her head held up high, her heal clicking down the deafening silence of the lobby and the black shade that is covering her eyes.

"Of course mam."

She nodded back in response and leaves the stunned and stiff staff behind. The moment she reaches her office, a wave of emptiness hit her. She gazes down the city from her skyscraper and she slightly sigh.

_It's going to be a long and crappy day._

Ruka was so busy in her train of thoughts that she was startle by the knock on her door.

"Come in."

"Mam, Mr. Ray is here to see you."

"Let him in, remember don't let anyone come to this room while I speak to Mr. Ray and please lock the door. I do not wish to be disturbed."

"Of course mam."

Ruka plop herself down to the oversized office chair and wait for her secretary to bring Mr. Ray. As soon as the familiar face walk in, she stares at the man for the longest period of time before breaking into a small and sinister smile.

"Mr. Ray, it is lovely to finally meet you again."

The said man was stiff and just nodded back in response.

Ruka pour herself some scotch and stand up, walking to the spot she was standing before Ray came.

"Do you remember what I said the first time we met ?"

"I-I-I do." The man stutter in response, very intimidated by the presence in front of him, even though she is much younger than him.

"So, could you enlighten me what make you break our spoken agreement?"

"I-I-I have no-"

"Don't say to me you don't have any choice. Everyone have a choice Mr. Ray, it's just whether they want to do it or not." She retorted back.

"I am very disappointed with you Mr. Ray, I never thought you would have failed me."

"I'm sure this would not happen again Ruka-sama."

"I've given you a second chance before Mr. Ray. Must I remind you who am I?"

"Of-Of course not, Ruka-sama."

"Well, Mr. Ray, this will be the last time we spoke and see one another. Please see your way out."

Before he could retort back, a man in black suite drag him out and bag his head.

Ruka quickly make a phone call to a familiar number that she have call many times before for the past 4 years.

"Kill him."

Is all she said before she take her purse and walk down her office building.

Why can't her day be peaceful at all, why do everyone must be so damn hard to handle. It would be so simple if everyone remembers who she is and what she is capable off. Those damn leaches. She is a Hanazawa and as a Hanazawa, she needs to be merciless and ruthless. No words such as kindness are in her dictionary. It is what they have groomed her to be, as a Hanazawa. To be feared by everyone just by the mention of their name. To stay in the dark and be as mysterious as possible. They are a shadow after all, the one who control what's needed to be done for her country. Why can't people just remember that? It would make her life much easier than to go around killing those leaches.

**Writer's note: Well, there you go, an update! Next chapter would be really, really long. Please leave a review and don't hesitate to asked if there's anything confusing. Thank you for reading! **


	7. Who?

_**VI. Who?**_

It's been nearly a week since the climatic charity ball. Suguru have said nothing and mention nothing to his wife. Everything seems to be so peaceful over the past few year when suddenly they where pulled over into this unknown whirlwind. Over the past few days he have done some research on the Hanazawa heir and he was amaze by some of the result he find.

"Hanazawa Ruka, graduated suma cumlaude from Oxford University double majoring in politics and business. She hates the public and is very private with her personal life. She rarely gives interview and there's really isn't much of information that the public knows. "

He said for the umpteen times. No matter how much he digs, he could not find anything. Truly a Hanazawa, so delicate and cautious in everything they do. Yet, no matter how much fact they are hiding, it could not hide the truth that Hanazawa Ruka are the splitting image of Fukuzawa Yumi. Suguru was so sure that if Yumi was still around, she would look exactly like the heiress, minus the elegance and sophistication. After all, his beloved Yumi-chan is clumsy, kind and have this blinding smile that effect everyone around her.

Hanazawa heiress on the other hand is too…unapproachable. She gave him the familiar feeling when facing Sachiko grandfather, the same intimidating aura. It gives him a slight shudder and wonder what kind of thing she have done to be such a person, or is there someone pulling the string behind the scene? Suguru realize that it is a futile attempt. No matter how much he compares those two, he could not find anything similar between them, aside from the face features. So he do the things he could do within his power, to find out more about this heiress.

"What can I help you Kashiwagi-sama?"

"Arrange a meeting with the Hanazawa as soon as possible with any mean necessary."

"Understood."

Kashiwagi knows that he hired a good secretary when he received a call that the Hanazawa agreed to the meeting, and so here he is, standing just a door away from his hopeful answer.

"Right this way Kashiwagi-sama."

As soon as the door open and he steps in, he felt a shiver down his spine. It's like he is stepping into a totally different world from a moment ago. He gulped and steadied himself to face one of the most powerful women he ever met.

"Thank you for granting me this meeting Hanazawa-san."

As the chair swivel and reveal the person sitting on it, his breath caught in his throat. He is not preparing for this; at least his heart is not prepared yet.

"I'm sorry, Ruka is very busy, so I hope you don't mind meeting me instead, Kashiwagi-san."

"Of course not Suou-san. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person." He forced out a smile.

"Shall we proceed to discuss what we are meeting for today?" The brunette smiles knowingly.

"Yes, as I've said, I would-" Suguru stop talking when the man in front of him wave his hand, gesturing him to stop.

"I'm sure you're here not for a business proposal, am I right Kashiwagi Suguru-san?"

Suguru eyes widen in shocks and he momentarily freezes, unable to say anything. Something in his facial expression may have give away something that the latter was confirming about.

"So I was right." Kaname smirk and walk forward to him.

"Well, Kashiwagi-san, I don't know what you are scheming, but let me warn you for your own good. Don't mess with Ruka and stow away any idea you have before you come here. It just… won't end well for you."

"I didn't-" Suguru was once again silenced by a pat in his shoulder.

"It's best if you leave before she come back, remember my warning Kashiwagi-san." Kaname whisper threateningly.

Before he realizes it, the guard was already dragging him outside the room and he was back in his car in a daze.

_What the hell was that all about!_

Suguru was furious and frustrated. He never expects to meet Kaname Suou in there. That damn bastard, what was his relationship with the Hanazawa? For the Hanazawa and the Suou to be so close, it was unheard off. The two most powerful families, it is just crazy to think how much they can control within their fingertip. They were always keeping their distance from one another, but after all of that happen, something drastic may have change the two families. For a Suou to be in a Hanazawa building, and as far as directing over the company was unheard off.

Suguru frown, he already could feel the impending headache, there are just too little information to go with the whole situation. He needs to know more, who exactly are the Hanazawa heiress? What's her relationship with Kaname Suou? What are their families stand about all of this? But most importantly, what's going to happen now? He has a lot to worry, especially for his lovely wife. His dear Sachiko who cannot stop grieving, who was robbed away from her only happiness, Suguru wish he could do something to ease away her pain. He may not love her like how he supposed to, but he genuinely care for her. After all, she is his beloved cousin and he wouldn't want it any other way.

"Is Sachiko home?" Suguru ask the maid as soon as he reach his mansion door.

"Lady Sachiko have been in her room the whole day."

"Have she eaten yet?"

"She didn't touch any of the food that was given to her."

Suguru just nod and dismissed the maid and make the beeline towards his wife room. He knock lightly once before coming inside and the sight that greet him break his heart a little.

"Sa-chan?"

He received no response from the latter, who just seated looking out the windows. She seem like in a dazed, he saw the food that was untouched, the open wine bottle and the empty glass. He walk slowly towards her until he stand right next to her, before crouching down to take her hand in his.

"Sa-chan?"

"Suguru-san?" She looks at him confusedly.

"You haven't eaten anything Sa-chan, you'll get sick." He said worriedly as he draw an invisible circle in her hand. She frown for a moment before replying softly, "I'm not hungry."

"You can't starve yourself Sa-chan. Everyone is worried about you. What am I going to tell your parent? Especially your grandfather! If he know about all of this I'll be in real trouble." He smile an exaggerated a bit just to see her laugh.

"You can just tell them nothing."

Suguru frown, it seem conversation is futile in this state. Nothing he say will go through her and he wonder what's her feeling about all of this.

"Are you thinking about her?"

"Hmmm… she looks exactly like Yumi, my dear Yumi." She said with so much loved and sorrow.

"But she's not Yumi Sa-chan. You know that more than everyone else. Yumi-chan is d-"

"Don't! I don't need you to tell me what I've known all along."

"Then-"

"But I know Yumi is not dead, she can't be. I know she's still somewhere out there. Maybe Yumi is-"

"Sachiko, you and I seen it with our own eyes what happen that day." Suguru said seriously. He wonder if his wife mental state is this unstable for her to still believes that the dead is alive. They saw it with their own eyes what happen five years ago. He even has several expertise people to check the video that was given to him was a fake or edited. But none, every result are the same. The video was as real as it can be.

"No corpses are found!" She screams hysterically.

"Yes, but they found the car and with the condition of the car, the corpse may have sunk down the ocean. It's impossible to find it Sachiko. "

"No I'm sure-"

"SACHIKO SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY! YUMI-CHAN IS DEAD!" Suguru finally snapped and as soon as the word came out from his mouth, he regret uttering it.

"Get out." She said in the brink of tears.

"Sa-chan I'm-"

"GET OUT!" She glared at him menacingly.

He sighed; knowing fully well nothing he does could change the situation right now. So he turns around and makes a beeline towards the exit, "At least eat your food Sa-chan. No one wants you to get sick." He said before closing the door.

A fight with Sachiko was never new for him. They always fight most of the time, but in the end he could never stay mad at her. Sachiko was always bad at expressing herself and put off wall so high with everyone, including her own family. But Suguru understands, they grow up together after all. He has always understood her and that's why it hurt. It hurt him how her only happiness was robbed away from her cruelly. So, he sincerely wishes that maybe somehow Sachiko could genuinely smile again, even if that means he need to face the Hanazawa.

"Hanazawa Ruka, I will definitely find out who you really are."

**Author's Note: This is the longest chapter I've written LOL. Thank you for reading and the review. I think it's pretty obvious who Hanazawa Ruka is, as I've been hinting it subtly over here and there throughout the chapter. However, I don't think I will blatantly write that she is Yumi. But who knows right? Anyway, see you guys next time. Don't hesitate to ask if there's anything confusing. **


	8. Wound

**_VII. Wound_ **

Her eyes sting from staring the computer too long and her back are aching for sitting too long. Letting out a long sighed, she leaned back into the comfort of her office chair. The sound of the clock in an empty room, the sound of the rain hitting the roof, it takes her mind off how quiet the office are. It has way past midnight and no soul could be found except hers.

_"I'm getting married." _

She flashed open her eyes as quickly as she have closed it. Those damn memories. She haven't had any nightmare since having Kaname beside her, but after meeting the older girl at the charity ball, it's like all of the memories she kept locked away are hitting back at her ten-fold. Just like an impending wave and it gave her major headache.

Over the course of the years, she thought nothing could possibly affect her anymore, how wrong she was. Who the hell said that time would heal everything? Nothing ever heals, once you've earned a scar, it will become a part of who you are. Sure, the wound would close up and maybe along the way, you will even forget the pain. But, no matter how hard you fix a broken thing, the patches will wear out as time goes by. And the ugly truth it, you'll never be fine. In your deepest memory, the pain will always be remembered. It has become a part of who you are.

She found solace in Kaname, probably because they are like a kinder soul. He reminds her of how everything in this world is so broken. There was never a forever, who invented that wretched word in the first place? There are hundreds of place she feared to go where their memories brim. Even the sad song she heard in the radio reminded her about all the time she spent with the girl she once called _onessama_. Being in the very same city and breathing the very same air with Ogasawara Sachiko made her feel like walking in a never-ending nightmare.

God, she wish she could just forget everything like she once did. Remembering was painful and she wishes it wasn't this agonizing. She wishes the year's worth of memories could be erased so easily like it never happens. She wishes she could stop seeing the images of her. She wishes she could stop hearing her laugh. She wish a lot of thing to stop and it make something burn behind her eyes, throb against her temples, tighten her chest. She felt like curling herself into a ball. After all those year that she had tried so hard to move on, the moment she see _her, _everything start to crumble down. She hates _her_, but she hates herself more.

"I should have known that you would lock away yourself at the office at every possible opportunity."

She turns her head so fast that her neck muscle ached. She smiles at the shadow of the familiar figure. She was so deep in her own self-pitying spree that she have failed to notice someone presence.

"What are you doing here?"

"Dragging you home." He smiles cheekily at her and she felt a surge of familiar warmth.

"I can go home by myself Kaname."

"Yeah and I'll die in the process waiting for that."

Ruka raised an eyebrow, for Kaname to openly jock with her; he must be in either a very good mood or is hiding something.

"Spill it."

"What?"

She roll her eyes at the way he is acting, he just know all the right button to pissed her off.

"Her husband came to the office while you were at the meeting."

"Whose husband?"

"You know who."

And suddenly everything clicks together. No wonder her secretary was acting strange today. How dare they didn't tell anything to her. She sighed, knowing probably Kaname make everyone silence about the event. She let another sighed knowing she have another problem added to her never-ending list of problem in life. Why did Kashiwagi Suguru came? How did she didn't know about this in the first place? And as if Kaname can read her thought he answer the entire question she have in her head and just nodded along.

"You should just let me handle it."

"I just want to know what kind of man he is."

The subject was never brought up again and Ruka knows that sooner or late she needs to face Suguru. Knowing whom the man is, he will do anything to found out who she is. After all, he is not gullible enough to believe everything that is written about her by the media. So, she makes a mental note to herself to start planning her meeting with Kashiwagi Suguru.

"Are you mad?" She raised a questioning eyebrow at the man standing in front of her.

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know, maybe-"

"You know I could never stay mad at you." She cut him off and gives him a sincere smile. She could see him relaxing his tense shoulder.

She walk up to him and place herself into the warmth of his embrace to let out a deep sighed. She felt his finger drawing an imaginary circle at her back and for a moment she felt all her worries washed away. The steady beating of his heartbeat comforts her weary soul. She felt all the energy was drain out of her and she just wished to sleep right then and there.

"Let's get you home."

She nodded tiredly in response and felt herself being pick up by his strong arm. Relishing herself in the warmth of his embrace, she fell asleep, hoping that time could pass by more slowly so she could stay longer in the secure of his arm.

_Maybe all hope are not loss. _

_The spring where she was finally a second year student and her onessama was a third year. Yumi was very excited to see her beloved again. They could not meet much during the holiday due to their prior arrangement, which cannot be help. They've been going steady for nearly six months now and she felt like she couldn't be more alive then she already are. Sachiko gave her what she could never think of having, and for once, she believed in fairy tale and their happy endings. _

_"Onessama!" She gleefully shouts as hey eyes landed into the familiar figure standing in front of the Virgin Mary statue. _

_ Maybe she was so clouded in her happiness that she failed to notice the tense shoulder and forced smile that was given to her. Maybe her beloved are just having a hard time with her company work. Yumi never gave it too many thoughts. They were walking side by side, when Sachiko stop and look at her at the eyes. _

_"Yumi… I'm getting married." _

_ Fukuzawa Yumi swear she heard it wrongly or maybe she just refused to believe it. _

_"Wh-what are you saying Sachiko?"_

_"It's been finalize. I'll be married to Suguru-san after the graduation."_

_ Yumi felt her world are spinning uncontrollably and someone are just doing some sick joked on her. _

_"Is this some kind of jokes Onessama? This isn't funny." Yumi didn't know what kind of expression she's having right now, to make Ogasawara Sachiko look at her coldly and sympathetically. _

_"I'm sorry. I never said this is going to work out long."_

_"What are you saying Sachiko?"_

_"What? Yumi, don't tell me I was serious with our relationship?"_

_Her eyes widen and it was enough to give Sachiko the answer._

_"Oh my god, are you serious? I just thought us going out would be fun for a high school memories."_

_ As if her world are not already crumbling down, all the horrible word that was utter from the woman she treasure dearly, killed her. _

_"I have never loved you, do you think I actually loved you?"_

_ Then that was the last straw, as she slaps the woman across her cheek and ran to places that could never be reach by the latter. Oh what a fool she was, there's no way for the perfect Ogasawara Sachiko to fall in love with someone like her, someone so ordinary, so average. She scoffs to herself as she ran and ran, never stopping or looking back. _

The blinding light hurt her eyes when she woke up. It's been awhile since she last dream that wretched memories. Even the familiar dull pain on her chest reminded her about all the hate and anger she felt towards the older girl. It seems like nothing could ever soothed her wound that keeps opening up.

**Author's Note: Well, hello everyone. I know it's been awhile since my last update, but fear not, I still remember this story. I'm just done with my semester final, so I should be updating more regularly. I know it's a rather short chapter, I thought of making it longer, but I think it will be just a mess. Anyway, thank you for reading, hope you like it! Feedback and comment are really appreciated. **


	9. The Wheel of Fate

**_VIII. The Wheel of Fate_**

If his eye could fall from his socket, it would probably have. Kashiwagi Suguru didn't expect this visit even in his wildest dream, especially after what happen the other day.

"I-I-I'm sorry Kashiwagi-san, I've tried to-" Suguru just nod sympathetically at his panic stricken secretary and waved her off.

"To what do I owe this pleasure Hanazawa-san?"

The latter chuckle, and he thought she never could smile like that.

"I would like to apologize of what happen the other day when you visited my office Kashiwagi-san." She smiles sincerely.

"The other day?... Oh, it's nothing at all. No harm taken." He gleefully replied back.

"I'm still sorry, that Suou can sometimes be such a handful."

"I can see that."

"Well, I was hoping if we could have a dinner together. Of course, with your lovely wife as well, I've heard a lot about her, it will be a pleasure to meet such an amazing individual."

"My look whose talking here, aren't you the most successful heiress right now Hanazawa-san?"

The latter just smile back in response.

"Well, of course it will be a pleasure to have dinner with you Hanazawa-san. I'll inform my wife about your invitation and get back to you soon."

"Great, I'll let my secretary know about it. I'll be looking forward to our dinner than, Kashiwagi-san."

"Yes, the feeling is mutual Hanazawa-san."

As soon as the latter disappear behind the close door, Suguru let out a long sigh. This will prove to be quiet troublesome for him. With the current mental state of Sachiko, meeting Hanazawa Ruka is not a really good option. On the other hand, there's really no reason for him to decline the dinner offer. It will be a huge opportunity for him, especially if he wishes to get to know the latter. After all, he is doing all of this for Sachiko and maybe deep down, he knows that a part of him also felt guilty to whatever happens to Yumi five years ago.

The girl vanishes like a thin air before they encounter the videotape that was send to them. It was like a nightmare, some kind of sick joke that was played on them. It was hard for him and it was harder for Sachiko.

_"W-w-what is this? How can this be enough prove? WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS!?" _

_"Sachiko calm down." _

_ Suguru turn to the investigator once again and nod at him to replay the video. The black sedan was speeding across the mountain range before for whatever reason, it loss control and crash towards the railing falling to the cliff and disappear into the deep ocean. Apparently, Yumi was in the car, as a previous cctv was shown she was being picked up in the very same sedan outside The W hotel. _

_"Are you sure the video is not fabricated?" Suguru eyed the investigor. _

_"Yes, I am very sure. We could send it to someone on my office to check the originality of the video if that will convince you and your wife. We are also in the midst of searching for the remnant of the car."_

_"Alright, please do so. I'll be hoping for a good news as soon as possible Mr Ueshi."_

_"Yes, we will do our very best Kashiwagi-sama."_

_ Calming down a hysterical Sachiko was not the easiest job to do. It was a task itself because she refuses to eat, drink or talk to anyone. And the news that they received 2 week after the investigation was just a very last straw into the hell they called reality. _

_"We couldn't found any trace of corpse or body. With the duration of the accident, most probably the body-"_

_"I've heard enough. Thank you for your effort Ueshi-san." Sachiko get up and walk out of the room. _

_"I'm sorry, it's just been very hard on her."_

_"I hope I could be more of a help Kashiwagi-sama."_

_"You've done more than we could ask. Thank you."_

_ Sachiko locked away herself for 3 days straight before she came out from her shell and act as if everything was okay. Everyone around her, even the people from Lilian were so worried with her behavior, but she just seems so aloof and emotionless, that there's nothing anyone could do to open her up. They know, he knows, the part of Sachiko that they once knew is gone. _

He hesitated. It's been all day and he tried to come up with all kind of excuses and forms of words, but nothing seems articulate enough to be brought up in a conversation with his wife. He certainly didn't want to have another argument with Sachiko when he just got ever one with her. Knowing her personality, it's either she brush him off again today or at least they could have a civilize dinner. Lo and behold, when he's home Sachiko was already there on the dinner table waiting for him.

"You're late." A statement, not a question. So Sachiko.

"There are things…unexpected."

She raised him an eyebrow, a signal, to urge him to continue to talk. And looking at her, sitting their being so calm and collected, Suguru felt there's nothing he should talk or discuss with her.

"When are your schedule free for dinner?"

"Are you taking me out?"

"Yes and no. I've got invited and it'll be nice if you also could come."

"Okay."

"I just-what?" Suguru have prepared himself for endless questioning and rejection from the latter, not such a quick acknowledgement and answer.

"Great. When are you free?"

"I don't have any pressing issues, you could just arrange it and tell my secretary to move my schedule accordingly."

"Okay."

"…And Sachiko?"

"Hmm?"

"How are you?"

They're dinner was unexpectedly pleasant and mover civilized then he thought it will turn out to be. He was happy Sachiko didn't inquired much about the dinner plan. But sooner or later, he needed to tell her about who they are meeting. It will be tiring for him mentally and physically to face a hysterical Sachiko.

"Hello, please schedule and inform Hanazawa-san about the dinner invitation. Friday night sound great for us. Please ask her and give her my regards."

"Of course, Kashiwagi-sama. I will relay your message accordingly."

**Author's Note: Hello everyone, I'm glad with all the positive review. I've been trying to post this chapter for several days now, but I've got such a shitty internet connection and nothing really work the way I want it to be. I'm in the midst of writing the next chapter, so it really should be up by the end of the week or early next week. Again, I'll apologize for such a short chapter, writing in MS Words always make everything seems longer. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you for reading. **


	10. Ghost

**_IX. Ghost_**

When she thinks of _her_, her reality slip off of its normal axis. Bobs and blur made up her sight, and her world spin uncontrollably. Nothing ever really made sense when it involves her feeling for her _onessama_. _She_ was what once her world revolves around and maybe to a certain point, still is. The heiress is just too afraid to admit that she could never hate _her. _Kaname know, he knows so much more than he let on. He knows so he never pushes her for more than she could take. He too was the same. Chasing the same ghost for years, wishing that things could be different when he knows nothing could be changed. Though, in his case, he is literally chasing one.

He despises common sense because he has seen the world from every possible angle. The world sadness and beauty, the cruelty and pain, how could he forget? He suffered and made mistake and he was ashamed of his own ugliness and flaw. There are so many things he wants to remember, but the harder he tried, the faster it all seems to slip away. So much has happened, but only fragment of memories are left. Only fleeting moments are left, which is fitting he suppose. Sometimes, moments were really all we ever had and some truths are best hidden in plain sight. That's how he learned how _to loved_ and _be loved_, like any other person.

He knows nothing is infinite in this world. But he wish a lot of thing, he wish time wouldn't be so cruel, he wish he do all the things he thought he would regret, he wish he could just have more time, or at least have the short little time to say sorry to _her_. He scoffs to himself, who he is to hold on to _her_. They could never be together the way he wanted them to be they were siblings. His beloved sister, the love of his life, his everything. She was beautiful, starkly beautiful, yet she is finite like how the world is. _Finite. _

They say that when someone dies, they take a bit of you with them. In his case, it takes everything that he once was. Someone had once told him that when you breathed next to someone, you'd inhale a piece of his or her consciousness. Bit by bit, tongue over lips, over the butterfly fluttering of eyelashes. You'd see the world as theirs. Your retinas would fold and unfold, dancing into two daring flips sides, coins of light. The world would be vibrant, and you'd constantly whisper,_ I see. _

He thought that overtime waking up to a cold bed and nightmare would be easier. Space was abstract. Sight was innovation. Nothing really soothed him. His eyes would open in the morning to a cacophony of dismal white. The white ceilings and the smell of freshly brew coffee. And he remembers, the times when she was there to wake him up. Her laughter ring at his ear even when there's no one around. He remembered how she would snuggle up closed to you and whisper, _"Let's sleep a little more."_

White was such a lonely color. The picture on his stand always made him drift back into saturation, irises splashed with prismatic brilliance. White reminded him of sadness, bleach brick and glass panes. Of the galaxy city lights from his penthouse and the forgotten art, young and waxy, and the nostalgia of the neighborhood bakery's outside tabletops where she always get her favorite cupcakes from. He remembers the stolen kisses, the giggles and laughter, and he would look at her as if he has the whole world on his palm.

So he sees the brunette heiress as her sister replacement and he wonder time and time again, if this was okay. He wondered if she too, was stuck in the past, chasing after a ghost. Though, in her case, she was running and not chasing. He realized that long ago and the latter know what he thought of her. And this is probably why, overtime, he has become so attach, so protective towards her. Ruka never judged him. She simply saw him as who he is. Someone who is a mess, twisted, broken and beyond repair. They were a kinder soul.

_"Ruka, I'm not her, I'll never be her. So will you. You will never be Miyuki, you're just you and I'm just me." _The look in her eyes had been in a deep indigo. It spoke of sorrow on waking and fluttering eyelashes that blinked back tears. _"I know." _Her voice shaking, and his heart clench. _"This. Us. It won't be easy. But I love you. I know I love you and I know you love me too." _ Her thin lips, was grace with a weary smile. "_You are still running away from her, and I understand that. I'll wait. I'll wait because I know you are worth everything that I am." _Tears streaming down her pale cheek and you felt a stab on you gut.

_Miyuki _will always be a shadow, a ghost, which he could never shake off. It was a part of him, a part of who he has become. And he has learned to accept it, the part of him, the part that will always continue to seek answer from the death.

_"I want you to see the world, to do the things I could never do. I want you to run and never look back. Because you are you, always so dazzling and vivid. I know you will be fine and someday, I know you'll find a reason to smile again." _

"Miyuki, is this really alright?" He said to no one in particular.

He knows he would never be able to really let go of the past. No one ever really let go. They will just get use to the pain and the feeling of nothingness. They just learn to function to a life and let the numbing feeling replace everything else. To let go was to forget, and he didn't want to forget. He didn't want the memories to be just another moment in a piece of paper that he put on his bedside table. He wants to remember. Even if it pains him, he wants to remember all the years of memories and hold it close. Keep it in a jar and maybe someday he can look back and smile again.

"Kaname, are you listening to me?"

His attention shift towards the beautiful brunette in front of him, worried written all over her face. He smiles, reaching her hand and pull her into an embrace. The familiar scent like a summer dew, a scent he have grown to be very fond off. The brunette hairs that nowadays are all he could think off. The rhythmic breathing, her familiar warmth, everything of her that he has come to appreciate. Everything will be all right if he is with her. He knows he will. The girl squirm in protest with the sudden hug, but he held her tighter, afraid that he will once again be all alone again.

"I won't run you know."

"I know."

"I will always be here."

"I know."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"You're thinking of her again."

"Aren't you the same?"

"That's not fair."

And he laugh, laugh so hard he felt his stomach hurting and tears filled his eyes. She smile too in respond and kiss him on his cheek, hid forehead, his nose, his lips and _whisper_, whisper the mantra that they shared, "Everything will be fine, dear."

_"I want to give you the world that I see, I want to let you dream what I once dream. I want you to live and feel alive." _

Maybe…just maybe, he have stop for a moment in his endless chase.

**Author's Note: Hello, finally another update! Well, I hope this chapter could clear up some of your question. The dinner chapter will be for another time. Since some of you guys are asking for history, background and stuff, I am writing those flashback chapter for my next update. This update are just to give you a hindsight of who and what makes Kaname as who he is today. I hope you like it! Thank you for leaving a review and please don't hesitate to ask if there are things confusing. Ciao~**


	11. The Beginning Of An End

**_X. The Beginning Of An End_**

_She pump her short leg as fast as she can. Her lung scream for more air and she can feel her heart beating so fast, she was scared her heart will come out off her chest with how much it pounds. She could still see the shadowed of people running chasing her, their scream sound muffled in her ear. All she could think is to run as fast as she can. _

_"__STOP THERE BITCH!" _

_She felt someone push her shoulder and with the speed she's running at, she loses her balance and fall, hitting her head hard till she could feel the familiar iron smell of her own blood. _

_"__We're not supposed to killed her you fool!"_

_"__It was an accident!"_

_"__Hurry we need to take her." She wanted to scream, to crawl, but her consciousness is slipping away and the last thing she felt was being hurled like a sacked into who knows where. _

_She waked up later on, into a white ceiling, a warm summer breeze and an aching body. For some strange reason, she could not recall anything, not her name, or who she was. _

_"__I'm glad you've finally awake, how are you feeling?" The white coat man observed her._

_"__Where am I?" _

_"__You're in the hospital miss. You've been unconscious for nearly a month now."_

_"__I see."_

_"__Do you remember who you are?"_

_"__I…I am… I don't."_

_"__I see."_

_"__Do you perhaps know who I am doctor?"_

_"__I am sorry, I have no answer to your question miss. You were found outside of our hospital and since then no one came for you."_

_"__Where is this place?"_

_"__We're in the countryside. I let you rest for now, there will be a nurse to keep a check on you."_

_"__Thank you."_

_Who was she, how did she end up here? Do she have a family? A sibling? All sorts of thought occupied her mind and the more she think about it, the painful the headache become. It's been nearly a week after she woken up, and she's finally able to walk around without supervision. She sits at the bench in the hospital garden, enjoying the breeze that is caressing her face. She feels how the sky is so blue and the sun is so warm. _

_"__You'll catch a cold girl."_

_She was startled beyond her wits. She turn her head towards the origin of the voice and met with a cold gaze of a middle-aged man. _

_"__It's fine. No one will care." She replied nonchalantly. _

_"__You're parent will be worried." _

_"__I have no parent, apparently."_

_"__Apparently?"_

_"I don't remember anything. Not even my name. I don't know who I am." She frowned at her own words. _

_There seems to be a flash of emotion on the man gazed before it turns back to the dull origin. _

_"I see." _

_"Seems like someone are waiting for you mister." _

_He raised an eyebrow and turn around to see his butler standing a few meters away from him, bowing when they meet gaze. _

_"Bye mister, it's time for my therapy." He nodded in response and watched the said girl disappear. _

_"It's rare to see you interacting with stranger sir." He shrug in response and walk back to his room. _

_"Investigate that girl." _

_The butler look surprised but didn't ask further question before disappearing to do his new task. It was rare for his mater to take interest on some stranger and when he usually does, some unbelievable things will happen. He sighed, praying his master won't do any troublesome thing._

_They meet again the next day and the next day, until it seems they've meet every single day. Sometime she wonder, why the mister never leave the hospital, even though he seem well and healthy. Sometimes, she found him, looking at her with a fondness as if a father looking at his own child. She often found him, staring from outside the window as she was doing her rehabilitation. She called him mister, despite being asked to stop doing so. He told her that being with her reminded him of his beloved daughter who has sadly passed away two months ago. _

_"__Hey mister-"_

_"__Ruka."_

_"__Ruka?"_

_"__How does that sound? I'll call you Ruka from now own and you should stop calling me mister, but grandfather. How does living with me sound?"_

_She nodded at him and smiles brightly. She love being pampered by his affection, despite sometimes always giving her an ignorant look, she know he cared for her. Ruka now, her grandfather loves her and she likes her little family that consist of her, her grandfather and Renji. Renji is the butler who has served grandpa his whole life and has been by his side since forever. _

_At first, she was oblivious to the fact that the man who just adopted her is arguably the most powerful man in Japan. His influence are a par to none, his companies are always expanding and expanding, slowly becoming a powerhouse in the world economic. Her grandfather are an amazing man, but she is still not sure to what extend does those power goes. _

_Ruka will go to the end of earth if it is for her beloved grandfather. So she'll do anything that will please him, even if it is of her own expanses. She doesn't mind, because she know, he will give her the world if that is what she wanted. A year fly by in a blink of an eye, everything has already been set in place. It's just a matter of time before she is shown to the world as the heir of her grandfather empire. She have been groom to be the matriarch of Hanazawa, just like what her grandfather wants her to be, and despite her reluctance and self-doubt, she is determined to succeed. _

_Of course, before some maniac decided to kidnapped her, crash their car into a railing and submerged into the depth of the ocean. All of sudden, like a switch has been flipped, a memories – her memories – flooded her mind, clouded her vision, making everything around her blurred in fast-forward. She felt her stomach twisted and turn, making her nauseous. Years worth of memories flooded her mind like some broken dam. So she remember, the happiness, the joy the warmth, but most of all she remember the broken heart, the betrayal, and the suffering. She remembers her, the cause of the chaos. The source of her pain and agony. The one who ruthlessly robbed everything away from her, one by one. _

_**The one who turn her world into a dull grey.** _

_The first thing that greeted her after opening her eyes was the sight of her sleeping grandfather opposite her and Renji who is just staring at her in his usual stoic expression. The sudden rush of emotion from her memories overwhelms her and once again she remember the familiar dull ache she felt constricting her chest. She laughed, she laughed so hard like a maniac, alerting her grandfather whether or not the accident have cause her mind screwed up. But she's not, she is far from being insane, she felt a new sense of fulfillment. She know, she just know the right button to push. After all this is just the beginning and two can play the game. It is never wise to wake up a sleeping lion, she is a Hanazawa after all.  
_

_"__Let the game begin Sachiko. It is time for a sweet little revenge." _

**Author's Note: Hello, I know it's been awhile, but I've managed to finally finish this chapter. I've been really busy with classes, travel and office work, so it's been a really hectic summer break for me. I also managed to ruin my other laptop, so I lost everything that was in it. Luckily I made a backup for this chapter on a notes of my iPad, or I'll cry a river because I need to start writing it from scratch again. This chapter is a whole flashback, so it should clear up many kind of question that you guys have. Please leave a review because any critics or feedback are greatly appreciated. Hope everyone are having an amazing summer holiday! Cheers.  
**


	12. Dinner for Four

**_XI. Dinner for Four_**

For whatever reason, the whole day has been a little unnerving for the Ogasawara heiress. Something, she just can't pin point what, doesn't feels right. She spend her evening getting ready to dress up because Suguru has said times and times again how important this dinner are. Even though Sachiko didn't particularly have any inclination of feeling towards her husband, she still respects him enough to do her part as a supportive wife.

"Sa-chan, are you ready?"

"Yes, stop being so jittery Suguru-san. You are getting on my nerves."

"I'm not jittery."

"Yet, you act like one."

He just groans in respond and lend his hand to escort Sachiko towards the awaiting car. The car ride was uncomfortable for the heiress, especially with the way her husband so out of his character for the whole day. It was not like him at all to lose his composure. Whoever they are meeting must have struck some nerve on him.

"Are you really not going to tell me who we are meeting?"

"We're here already, why don't you see for yourself who we are meeting inside."

And for some reason, her stomach twisted into a knot. Something just doesn't feel right. So, when she sees the familiar backside of the brunette, she gives her best death glare to her husband. She should have known it. She should have known that he would do this to rub a salt on her wound. She felt like running away, or hide somewhere, ultimately she would do anything to get out from the place she is standing.

"I'm sorry that we're late Hanazawa-san."

The later smile softly and gesture the couple to take a sit. "It's fine, Kaname is also running late."

"Oh, Suou-san is joining us?"

"Yes, I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not, the more the merrier, right Sachiko?"

For a moment Sachiko feel like she couldn't breath when the attention was shift to her and the brown pair of eyes settle on her.

"Yes, definitely." She forced a smile and was relieved when they continue talking about other trivial thing, shifting the attention away from her.

The Hanazawa heiress is truly beautiful. Sachiko can't help but stare and compare the girl sitting across her to her dear Yumi. Will Yumi look like her if she didn't disappear all those years ago? Would the latter blush if someone complimented her? Did she like drinking her tea with slight sugar, just like how Yumi does? Did she slightly snore when she sleep because she is to tired? Oh how Sachiko wanted to asked a million things to the person sitting across her, yet she can't. She can't ask without sounding like a crazy psychopath.

"Hello, sorry I'm late. The meeting ended later than usual." The sudden voice behind her, startle Sachiko from her reverie.

"We haven't waited long, Suou-san." Kashiwagi replied, which ultimately was ignored by the said man.

The tension so palpable on the air it become slightly stifling to breathe and Sachiko wonder what kind of trouble her husband have done to receive the wrath of the Suou heir. "Kaname behave. They are my guest and you will treat them like one." The man scowls in response before muttering a soft apologies and everything seems back to normal. The dinner was civil enough as both men tried their best to be friendly towards one another, much to the chagrin of the Suou heir.

"Is the food not to your liking Ogasawara-san?" Both man stop their conversation and suddenly everyone's attention was on her.

"Not at all Hanazawa-san, and please, just Sachiko is fine."

"Really? You barely touch your food, Sachiko-san."

"I don't have too much appetite nowadays Hana-"

She stops short in forming her sentence when a hand was raised and a head was shake.

"Ruka is fine. I feel old when people called me by my surname."

"Well, Ruka-san it is."

The dinner went more smoothly than Kashiwagi Suguru imagine it to be. Sachiko is civil enough, she's quiet, but it's better than her throwing a tantrum. He and Suou also have act civil enough to produce a conversation. All in all, it wasn't such a bad night and he hopes that Sachiko realized and accepts that the Hanazawa heiress is not Yumi. She's too elegant and refined to be Yumi, she didn't blush when someone compliments her and she definitely could intimidate people to her biding. Yes, Yumi is definitely not Ruka, but some part of his twisted brain still couldn't accept the fact.

Nothing except her outer appearances is similar to Yumi. Yet, sometimes when he could see past beyond the facade the heiress put up, he gets a glimpse of the familiar old Yumi. Maybe from the way she sometimes frown and her eyebrow scrunch together, or when she's trying to be sarcastic, or perhaps when she is just being polite and laugh at his dry joke even though it's not funny. But, of course, Ruka could not be Yumi. He is sure of that after the dinner. Ruka love to be the dominant one, especially with Kaname. He could see how the Suou would do anything to please the woman. She is intimidating and prideful; she didn't turn down compliment but accept it with pleasure. Yes, they are too different to be the same person. He should have known, because Yumi died. She died because of him.

_"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HER!" He shouts at the top of his lung._

_"I-I-I'm s-so-sorry sir. We look away for a second and suddenly she vanish." _

_"PEOPLE DON'T JUST VANISH!"_

_"B-Bu-But-"_

_"ENOUGH! IF SOMETHING HAPPEN TO HER, I'LL KILL YOU PERSONALLY!"_

_He punch down a number on his cellphone, all the while cursing all kind of words. _

_"Hello-"_

_"She's gone."_

_"Pardon?"_

_"Yumi's gone. Those idiots could not even keep an eye on her and she's gone."_

_Suguru heard a loud sigh on the other side of the phone, "I'm sorry, I-"_

_"Suguru it's fine. I'll meet you at the mansion and we could talk our plan."_

_"Alright."_

Even until today, he still remembers the damn conversation from years ago. Yumi died and it's all because of him. How could he ever face Sachiko properly? Maybe all he can do is just try his hardest to be there for her. After all, he robbed away her chance of happiness.

"I love to discuss the proposal again Suguru-san. Perhaps, we could have another meal together?"

Both couple stood outside the restaurant, ready to leave. "Yes, it'll be my pleasure Ruka-san. I'll be looking forward hearing from you."

Sachiko watch wearily as the Hanazawa - Suou couple departed first. She hate to admit, but they do look good together and she curse under her breath when she imagine how it could be her and Yumi being intimate like that. Looking at Ruka just bring back a painful memories for her. Reminding her the best thing that could have been in her life, before she destroys the very chance of happiness herself.

She felt herself being dragged towards the awaiting car by her husband and she absentmindedly allowed herself being dragged. She watched as the scenery change outside the car, where darkness quickly enveloped the road as they stir away from the crowded city. Her mind drifted back towards the what if question. What if she is stronger back then? Maybe she wouldn't back down so quickly from the pressure of her family. What if she continues to try instead of giving up? Maybe her family would gave in. What if she talks patiently instead of blowing up on her parent? Maybe they would have understood her choice better. God, there are so many things she wish she could change. So many mistakes she wish she could undone. But of course, who is she trying to fool, Sachiko know, everything is her fault. So this is her sin. Her sin to carry down to her last breathes.

_Yumi… Will you ever forgive me? _

**_Author Notes: Hello, it's been awhile since I update this story. I will not abandon this story, but it's been getting harder and harder to update. I appreciate all the comments and will try my best to write an interesting story. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again, but hopefully it'll be soon. This is relatively short and rush, because I just felt that I need to get it out here. Thank you for reading! _**


	13. Empty

**_XII. Empty_**

Six years ago, she probably would stutter throughout any conversation that she have with the love of her life. Many people said that falling in love is never easy, but she effortlessly, irrevocably loved the older girl. It scares her how much she loved the Ogasawara heiress. But she was sure that she would give everything, her heart, her soul, _every _single damn thing just to be with the older girl. She willingly crawls to hell if that's what Ogasawara Sachiko wanted, and that's exactly what she did. Throwing away everything until she is left with the void of a broken heart.

_People say that falling in love is never easy but they never said falling out of love is the other way around either. _

She wanted to stop and then rewind everything. Go back to the time when everything was perfect. Ogasawara Sachiko and Fukuzawa Yumi were perfect. And that's what hurts the most. They were just a past tense in this present time. So near yet so far. Almost but not quite there yet. Almost but not perfect. Yes… Almost but they never quite reach their happy ending. But, you don't just wake up one day and decided to fall out of love. It was a long process. A painful process. You don't just forget the kind of love that she experience with the older girl.

But, every single day it's becoming darker and dimmer and she tried and tried to save herself from the darkness that is consuming her whole being. The darkness that is called hatred. She never wanted to hurt the older girl, despite everything that had happen to her due to the said girl. Sachiko is her first love and will probably continue to hold those soft spot within her heart.

Yet, a part of her cannot wait to see Sachiko cry and begging down on her knees for forgiveness. She wanted to see, to let the older girl try and feel exactly what kind of hell she went through. And Ruka will make sure she experience every single damn thing that break her, she will do it with pleasure to the Ogasawara heiress.

"I don't like it." She tore her attention away from the scenery of the city lights to the familiar silhouette of Kaname.

"Like what?"

"You being close to them." He mutters softly.

"We have this conversation already Kaname." Sighing, she knows where this conversation will led. He arguing, she not accepting, and they won't talk to each other for several days.

"I know, I just… I'm worried, okay. You don't need to do this." She felt his familiar hand, bigger then her, enveloping her own with their familiar warmth.

"That's precisely why, I need to do this. I need it, _for me._"

"But-"

"If… if I wanted to move on, then I need this." _For my family. For the deeds they have hidden. For the truth they evade. _

"I won't be able to talk you out of this will I?" He sighs, pinching his nose bridge with his thumbs.

She just gave him a weary smile and despite the darkness, she know that Kaname understand the unsaid word. He scoots closer and embraces the petite figure, which seem so strong and yet so fragile. He swears he will protect her, no matter what it takes. He promise and he will never break his promise.

_Suou Residence 4 years ago_

_It's been nearly 5 months since the ball and he felt that he have known the Hanazawa heiress for a decade. He could always be himself in front of her and she won't judge him. He felt secure being with her and that's enough for him to continue seeking for her presence. She was like a paradox that continues to keep him on his toes. She was everything that made him willingly break the rule all over again. _

_"I've never seen you so interested in anyone before dear." _

_"Is that bad?"_

_"Hardly, I think it's about time." _

_Well, it's not like he could ever say that he loved his own sister to his own mother. _

_"Is she coming for dinner?"_

_"Actually, I'm taking her out." _

_And her face twisted in horror, "You're not going to introduce her to me?"_

_Kaname scowl at his mother over dramatic reaction, "You've met her, hell! You know her mom." _

_"That and this is different honey. You're obviously courting her, and it's been like forever and you still haven't introduce her to us." _

_"It's not even 5 month and we're friend. Good friend." _

_She laugh heartily at his oblivious answer, "Friend don't do date. Good friend don't kiss."_

_Now it's his turn to express his horrified expression, "How do you know that?!" _

_"I always know." She smiles in triumph. _

_He mutters incoherent word under his breath, trying to remember any possible clues that expose their dirty little secret. _

_"Come on Kaname, indulge me, let's have dinner together." _

_"Fine mom, we'll have dinner together with you and dad. Happy?"_

_"Very." _

_"I'm sorry about my parent. My mom could be really persuasive sometime." _

_She smile softly in just shake her head, "It's fine Kaname. What could go worst in having dinner with your parent? Plus, your mom is so lovely the last time I saw her." _

_He curse at her reply, "A lot of thing could go south when my parents involve." _

_She just shake her head in response and he sigh. He led her to the dinning room and surprisingly, his parent didn't embarrassed him too much. Kaname never bring a girl home before. Sure he introduce them to his parent, but never to the extent that his parent would willingly open their door to invite any of the girl his courting. But, the problem is, Kaname is not courting Hanazawa Ruka. They promise to take thing slow, she know his situation and he is still trying to figure the enigma of the Hanazawa heiress. _

_"Will you ever tell me what happen?" He asks her softly, not wanting her to shut him off. They were now just walking aimlessly at the garden after the eventful dinner. _

_"Hmm..?"_

_"You know what, Ruka." _

_She turns on her heel, facing him, and under the basking light of the moonlight she look so ethereal. Time and times again he wonder how a person could be so effortlessly beautiful. _

_"What do you want to know Kaname?"_

_"Everything."_

_He watches how her facial expression changes and for a moment he saw the crack on the perfect mask of the heiress. He never saw her so vulnerable before and he could see the hate, the pain, the sorrow radiating from her body. She told him everything he wanted to know and maybe he shouldn't have known. Because, he never felt such fury surge from within him. No one deserves to go through what the latter have went through. He see the weariness she hides, the void of her heart and at that moment, he know he would protect the woman in front of him with all his might. _

_"I'm sorry..." _

_He pulled her for an embrace, holding her tight within his arm. Imagining the nightmare she went through. _

_"Why are you apologizing?" Her voice so soft and fragile. _

_"Just because."_

_He felt her chuckle, reverberating in his chest. _

_"No matter what happen from now on, I'll always be here for you." He mutters softly to her ear. _

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah, it's a promise."_

_She adjusts herself within his arm so she could look up and see him eye to eye. "You're a good man Kaname." _

_He smiles in respond and he knows, he could get use to this, to the warmth of the later. _

_Unbeknownst to them, his parent was watching them like a hawk eye and smile satisfyingly watching the scene that has developed before them. _

_"Dear husband, isn't it a good time that we show the world how close we are with the Hanazawa?" _

_"A very well thought idea my dear wife."_

**Author Note: Hello again. This is another filler/flashback chapter. I didn't expect myself to finish another chapter so soon. I've hit 47 pages on my word document and this have become the longest story I've written. Honestly, right now the plot is all over the place. It have shifted away from my original plot and framework, so I'm just going to go with the flow and see where this goes. Thank you for the review. I really appreciate all those who took their time to leave a review. **


	14. Motion

**_XIII. Motion_**

"All right, I'll be patiently waiting for the result. Thank you Mr. Hu."

She can't help but chuckle darkly. It's finally coming to places and before long, if everything goes exactly like how she plan, the evidence will all turn up and it'll be the beginning of the downfall for the Ogasawara's. Oh how wonderful is this feeling, she just couldn't wait to show the whole japan the true face of the Ogasawara family. People will absolutely love it, especially the media and she just can't help but grin to herself.

"Are you on med's?" She whirled around to face the newly awaken Kaname.

"How rude."

"You're smiling too much for my liking this morning. Something good?"

"Oh, it's more than good Kaname. It's more than that. just gave me a call. Soon, everything will be ready."

Kaname look at the brunette girl worriedly. Sure he hate the Ogasawara for what they've done, but doing the same deed wouldn't make everything goes the way it used to be before. But, he can't say anything. He is tired of arguing with the latter, and he promise to stay by her side after all. Even if he didn't like what she's doing right now, he knows that this is probably what she need to set her toward a new path.

"Kaname?"

"Hmmm?"

"You're not listening."

"Sorry… what were you saying?"

The girl just sigh and stare back at him for a while before breaking their stifling silence, "I know you don't like it, and we have this conversation before. I'm not asking you to stay Kaname. You're free to leave. You're not obligated to stay. But, I will be here for as long as I need until I see for myself the fall of Ogasawara Sachiko."

"And you'll just be the same as them if you do this…" He mutter quietly.

"Aren't I already one? A monster. I'm a Hanazawa or have you forget that Suou?"

"What you usually do and this are two different thing Ruka. Once… once you invest emotionally in the things you usually do, it become an entirely different thing. It become personal, a burden, and I have enough seeing you suffer."

"It's a price I'm willing to pay Kaname."

"Ruka-"

"It's what I need." She clench her jaw tight.

"No, what you need is a closure, a talk."

She scoff, "What is there to talk Kaname?"

"Every misunderstanding Ruka. Who knows you may find out that she is not-"

"I don't care what they did to me, but I do hell care for what they did to my parent. To my mom, my dad.. to.. Yuki. And I swore that I'll make them pay."

He heard the door to her study room slam shut in a loud _bang._

"What a way to start the morning…" He muttered to himself and releases a long sigh. He wonders, if he could ever stop her from doing her revenge. He know, no… he was sure that she would regret her action in the future. He didn't want to see herself being drowned in sorrow and guilt. He was worried and he knows that he is not the only one who's worried, but they can't exactly stop her from setting the motion into places.

_He faces the middle-aged man in front of him and he never felt more uncomfortable than he is right now. He never recalled to have met the older man before, he was always keeping everyone on an arms length. Always sitting behind and let his family be the one that stand at all the spotlight. But, being away from the public didn't dwindle their hold of power, which is why it really unnerves Kaname. He just wishes he didn't say anything stupid that would offense the man._

_"Have a sit boy…"_

_The older man observe him like a hawk, watching his every move, his gesture, his expression. _

_"How long since you've met my lovely Ruka?"_

_"It's been nearly a year now sire." _

_He chuckle and Kaname shifted uncomfortable at the chair. That was definitely not the respond he expected. _

_"She's an amazing woman, don't you agree?" _

_He smile, hearing such the endearing remarks, "Yes, and I feel bless to have met her."_

_"Did she told you about her past?"_

_He nodded in respond. _

_"Good, then I'll just get to the point."_

_He saw the change in the older man eyes, "I am worried. Ruka, though she may not be a Hanazawa by blood, she is a Hanazawa through and through. She won't show mercy and she do it with such an efficiency that sometimes I though it's my great-grandfather being reincarnated. But, I don't want her to go down to a darker place, more than she already is. Do you get what I'm trying to say boy?"_

_He nodded slowly, "You're afraid she will take a revenge."_

_"I'm not afraid, because I know she will do it. I know she will do anything to take her revenge. I know that those people reap what they sow and I know she is more than capable to utterly crush them in the most cruel and painful way. But, what I am scared off, is losing her."_

_"Why do you think so?"_

_"Trust this old man boy, revenge is not sweet."_

_He's eyes widen in realization, the way that the Hanazawa patriarch look at him tells him everything at that single moment._

_"Because you've done it…" He mutters slowly._

_The older man just look at him warily, "I don't want her to end up like me. Drowning away in guilt. I don't think I can stand seeing her so broken more than she already is." _

_Kaname nodded his head understandingly. It must have been hard and somehow it warmth his heart to see the older man sincerely show his love towards his grand-daughter despite not being related at all._

_"Promise me boy, you'll be there for her."_

_"I would trade anything to stay by her side sire."_

_The Hanazawa patriarch chuckle at the boy, "I think I like you boy."_

Kaname swivel in his chair, wondering what should he do, it's been quite awhile since he last talks with the older man. Suddenly, an idea struck him. Dialing a familiar phone number, he waited patiently for the call to go through.

"Hello." The raspy, crisp and deep voice answer the call.

"Hello grandfather, it's been awhile. This is Kaname, how are you?"

"I don't need you to remind me who you are, boy. I'm not senile."

Kaname suppress a laughter that is trying to escape from his throat.

"I have a favor to ask you grandfather."

"I'm listening."

Taking that respond, he continue, "Ruka is soon going to set her motion on destroying the Ogasawara and I think I just have the greatest idea to stop her plan. But, I need your help grandfather."

He waited for several minute, waiting for the response from the older man, "She's going to hate you if she know, can you handle that?"

"Have you forgot what I'd say to you grandfather? I'll do anything for Ruka to be happy."

"I know that I like you for a reason boy. Alright, let's talk about this plan of yours."

"I think it's best if we meet in person grandfather, I have an upcoming business trips back to London, care to indulge this child with a tea time?"

He heard the loud chortle from the other side of the phone, "Yes, I'll indulge you with whatever you want boy. I'll look forward to our meeting."

"See you soon grandfather."

Kaname smile, it turns out better than he expects and maybe, just maybe, all is not loss. Maybe he can show Ruka that life is just not about revenge.

**Author's note: Hello my dear reader, thank you for all the comment/review. I am trying my best to get this story updated regularly. I'm sure you guys have so many question, but patience is virtue. In due time, everyone will know why Ruka/Yumi is so hell bent on seeking revenge towards the Ogasawara. You'll know what happen to her parent and Yuki. It's been really fun to write this story and I hope this won't drag to long. I hope to finish this story in the next 7 chapter. I never thought it would span into such a long story. I'm trying to pick up the pace so it won't be too boring for you guys. As always, comments and critic are really welcome. If by chance I didn't get to update next week, I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone whose celebrating. **


	15. Rift

**_XIIII. Rift_**

"What do you mean you've lost all the evidence ?" Her voice was tight and clipped.

"I'm sorry mam, I-I-I don't know how this happen. I swear-"

"I don't need your damn swear detective. I paid you to do your damn job, not to fucking ruin everything." She hissed, barely controlling her rage and her grip turning white from clutching the phone so tightly.

"I'm really sorry, I will-"

"Do you have back-up?"

"I'm, er, I-"

"I see. Thank you for your service detective."

"Ms. Hanazawa please-"

Not wanting to hear further, Ruka end the phone call. She bit her lips so hard she felt the familiar cooper taste on her mouth. Just when everything is starting to fall into places, every single thing was rip apart from her, yet again. Such an ironic twist of fate. She scoffs at herself and felt the impending headache from all the anger and frustration built up inside of her.

"Ruka, are you okay?"

She quickly spun on her heel the moment she heard the familiar voice of Kaname. She frown, she was too deep in her thought that she didn't even notice the other person presence.

"I'm fine. Headache. Things gone south." Her tone clipped, barely managing her fury.

She didn't want to take out her anger on Kaname, he have done so much and put up so much with her, he really doesn't need to listen to her throwing tantrum at him either.

"You want to talk about it?"

His warmth spread across her bodies as he embraces her from the back. She sighs, allowing herself to relax on the arm of the man she trust with her life. She shakes her head slowly and just close her eyes, allowing herself to just forget the entire bad thing. It felt like god just love to play with her.

"Not really."

Not wanting to force her, Kaname just hold the girl on his arm. He didn't know whether it was the guilt that weight him down or the knowledge that she will slip away from his grasp once she know the truth, that make him tighten his embrace on the latter.

"Kaname."

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. I just want to say your name. Kaname."

He smile inwardly, "Ruka."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. I just want to say your name, Ruka, period."

She felt the girl shoulder shake, trying to suppress her laughter.

"Kaname… I can trust you right?"

For a moment, he felt as if a lightning have strike his entire being and render him useless. He stiffen and took a deep breath to relax his stiffen body, before swallowing the bile that is gathering on his throat.

"Of course Ruka, you can always trust me."

**_Crack._**

The brunette whirl around and with those unreadable eyes, she stares at him. As if looking for an answer, whether he was being deceitful or not. He felt his throat constrict, and his breathing stop for a moment. He keep repeating to himself at the back of his head, that this is for her. _For her. _He is willing to sacrifice any mean necessary, even if that means she will hate him forever.

**_Crack._**

"I don't want you to promise me something that you couldn't keep Kaname."

_Promise._ Yes, even if he needs to go to the end of the world and back, he will do anything for Hanazawa Ruka. But, didn't he already break the promise the moment he turn his back on her? Again, he swallowed hard, forcing down the bile of disgust down his throat.

**_Crack._**

"Haven't I said it to you before Ruka? Wherever you go, no matter what I will always be behind you. I will always be here. _Trust me_. "

**_Crack._**

He doesn't even know what he is saying anymore, spouting such nonsense. Spouting words as empty as the promise he once told her.

"Even if the world…" _No, stop you idiot._

"Turns their back on you…" _Stop it. Stop. Stop talking! _

"I will be here." _No. No I won't. I've failed. Stop looking at me that way. STOP!_

"I love you, so trust me Ruka." _Fool. You're such a fool Kaname._

**_Crack._**

Then her beautiful brown eyes widen, her eyes reddening, tears threatening to fall. For a single moment swore that he could hear the audible cracking sound of his heart breaking into pieces. He could no longer look into those eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, because he know what he had done will shatter everything that she is. He could only duck his head, resting on the crook of her neck. He wonders to himself if his heart could take it until the end.

_People make promises. Promises that they keep, and promises base on just empty words. Such a fragile thing, yet that is how some people keep on living. Trust, hope, promise. Such mundane thing, how foolish indeed. _

**Author's Note: I know it's been a long time since I last updated. Nearly a year, but here it is. It's shorts, but just want to get it out there. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna go forward with this story, but I'll try my best to finish it. Thank you for reading!  
**


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